Reject Perfectionism: Crush the patriarchy at home

#perfectionism #feminismstartsathome #patriarchy #crushthepatriarchy #everydaysexism #womensreality #notgoodenough

I consider myself a recovering perfectionist.

Perfectionism is not something to strive for. It should be called ‘imperfectionism’ because the person is so focused on the imperfections that it stops them from getting stuff done. A perfectionist avoids starting tasks because they don't think they can do it to a high enough standard. They leave it for a magical day in the future when the planets align and they have sufficient time, skills, equipment or money to do it perfectly. Suddenly, the perfectionist is overwhelmed with incomplete tasks, reinforcing the belief that they aren’t good enough.

It’s been almost a year of being allowed into people’s most intimate of spaces professionally and listening to them talk about their struggles with the everyday stuff, and I'm seeing a clear trend. It’s surprisingly common to feel overwhelmed by the relentlessness of everyday tasks. And woven through this often, is the belief that this happens because we are not good enough. It’s corrosive, and it’s almost exclusive to women. Still! in 2020! Women who are doing amazing things, making the world a better place, but feel like they are failing at home.

How did I tackle my imperfectionism? By getting out of my head and focusing on ‘the doing’ rather than ‘the outcome’. I ditched my Pinterest habit that saw me pinning carefully crafted photos of perfect homes. I listened to Melissa Michaels' audiobook, 'Love the Home You Have'. I used time limits to give tasks an endpoint. I built routines so I don't even have to think, I just do out of habit. But mostly, I challenged my thinking. Truth is, I still have this ugly little perfection monster sneak up on me occasionally but I am better at putting him back in his box and just getting on with things. Somewhat imperfectly, and that’s good enough.

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